The FARM conversation is a great way to engage people in everyday situations. It works with anyone, anywhere, at any time. FARM stands for Family, Academics (Occupation if they are not a student), Recreation, and Message. By starting conversations around these topics, you can naturally gauge whether the person you're talking to is a person of peace—open to deeper discussion, interested in spiritual matters, and ready to help others learn more about the Bible. Gently pursue pain points with more questions. Here's a helpful way to guide these conversations:
F = Family
Ask about their family, relationships, and home life to build a personal connection. Questions like "Can you tell me about your family?" or "Are you from around here?" can help start a meaningful dialogue.
A = Academics
If they are a student, inquire about their studies or major by asking, "What are you studying? or "What do you hope to be?" For non-students, switch the A to an O for Occupation. Ask about their job with questions like "What do you do for a living?" to show genuine interest.
R = Recreation
Discuss their hobbies or interests. Questions like "Do you have any hobbies?" or "What do you like to do in your free time?" can reveal shared interests and create a more relaxed conversation.
M = Message
Transitioning into a spiritual conversation flows naturally from engaging and friendly dialogue. Seek guidance from the Holy Spirit (Luke 12:12) and explore pain points with compassion through thoughtful questions. One helpful framework is to consider "Their Story, Your Story, God's Story."
Begin by exploring their story. Express interest in their personal journey by inquiring about their spiritual beliefs or background. For instance, you might ask: "It’s been interesting learning your personal background. I’m curious, what is your spiritual background?" Or, "Do you have a faith journey? If so, can you describe it?" Or "I'm curious, does Jesus play a role in your life? If so, can you share what role?"
Share your story as well. Consider sharing your own spiritual journey with a brief 15-second testimony. For example, you could say: "There was a time when I was ________ and _________. Then I met Jesus, now I'm __________ and ___________." Then ask, "Do you have a story like that?"
Invite them into God's story. Ask, "May I share a story from the Bible with you?" If they agree, consider sharing a story from the DBS Story Sets. It’s helpful to have one story memorized to share at any moment and to gradually commit more stories to memory, to tailor them to the person’s situation. Ask: "What do you learn about God and people from this story?" Also, "Do you see yourself in any part of this story?" If so, encourage them to explain. Gently explore pain points with compassionate questions.
Be missional.
At some point, you will likely be asked about what you do. When this occurs, share your missional identity. For example, you might respond, "I help people discover the joy and hope that flows from trusting Jesus as Lord and Savior." Follow up with questions like: "Have you experienced the joy* and hope* that comes from following Jesus? For believers, add: "I help believers discover how to make disciples, who make disciples. Do you know how to make disciples who make disciples?" Be sure to conclude with an invitation, such as, "Would you like to know more?" Regardless of the answer, the beginning point is the same: teach them DBS. *Note: What two words describe your relationship with Jesus?
F = Family
Ask about their family, relationships, and home life to build a personal connection. Questions like "Can you tell me about your family?" or "Are you from around here?" can help start a meaningful dialogue.
A = Academics
If they are a student, inquire about their studies or major by asking, "What are you studying? or "What do you hope to be?" For non-students, switch the A to an O for Occupation. Ask about their job with questions like "What do you do for a living?" to show genuine interest.
R = Recreation
Discuss their hobbies or interests. Questions like "Do you have any hobbies?" or "What do you like to do in your free time?" can reveal shared interests and create a more relaxed conversation.
M = Message
Transitioning into a spiritual conversation flows naturally from engaging and friendly dialogue. Seek guidance from the Holy Spirit (Luke 12:12) and explore pain points with compassion through thoughtful questions. One helpful framework is to consider "Their Story, Your Story, God's Story."
Begin by exploring their story. Express interest in their personal journey by inquiring about their spiritual beliefs or background. For instance, you might ask: "It’s been interesting learning your personal background. I’m curious, what is your spiritual background?" Or, "Do you have a faith journey? If so, can you describe it?" Or "I'm curious, does Jesus play a role in your life? If so, can you share what role?"
Share your story as well. Consider sharing your own spiritual journey with a brief 15-second testimony. For example, you could say: "There was a time when I was ________ and _________. Then I met Jesus, now I'm __________ and ___________." Then ask, "Do you have a story like that?"
Invite them into God's story. Ask, "May I share a story from the Bible with you?" If they agree, consider sharing a story from the DBS Story Sets. It’s helpful to have one story memorized to share at any moment and to gradually commit more stories to memory, to tailor them to the person’s situation. Ask: "What do you learn about God and people from this story?" Also, "Do you see yourself in any part of this story?" If so, encourage them to explain. Gently explore pain points with compassionate questions.
Be missional.
At some point, you will likely be asked about what you do. When this occurs, share your missional identity. For example, you might respond, "I help people discover the joy and hope that flows from trusting Jesus as Lord and Savior." Follow up with questions like: "Have you experienced the joy* and hope* that comes from following Jesus? For believers, add: "I help believers discover how to make disciples, who make disciples. Do you know how to make disciples who make disciples?" Be sure to conclude with an invitation, such as, "Would you like to know more?" Regardless of the answer, the beginning point is the same: teach them DBS. *Note: What two words describe your relationship with Jesus?
Be wise.
The bottom line is this: God is waiting to be asked how to connect with people.
Knowledge is knowing the truth. Wisdom is knowing how to apply that truth in a way that fits the person and the moment. We may know a great deal about Jesus, but we still need God's wisdom to know how to introduce Him to someone else.
James gives us an extraordinary promise: "If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking."(James 1:5, NLT)
What an invitation! God is not reluctant to help us. He delights in giving His children wisdom. He doesn't sigh, roll His eyes, or tell us we should already know the answer. Instead, He invites us to ask, and He promises to answer generously.
That means God is willing to show us how to connect with our neighbors, coworkers, family members, and friends in natural, caring, and winsome ways. He knows their stories, their questions, their fears, and what is happening in their hearts. Who better to ask than the One who knows them completely?
If any of the ideas in the FARM conversation prove helpful, praise the Lord. But don't mistake a conversation tool for the source of wisdom. The real source is God Himself. He is waiting for you to ask Him how to apply what you already know about Jesus in a winsome, loving, and timely way.
Before your next conversation, pause and pray, "Lord, give me wisdom. Show me how to love this person well. Help me know what to ask, what to say, and when to simply listen." Then expect Him to answer. He delights in partnering with His people to draw others to His Son.
The bottom line is this: God is waiting to be asked how to connect with people.
Knowledge is knowing the truth. Wisdom is knowing how to apply that truth in a way that fits the person and the moment. We may know a great deal about Jesus, but we still need God's wisdom to know how to introduce Him to someone else.
James gives us an extraordinary promise: "If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking."(James 1:5, NLT)
What an invitation! God is not reluctant to help us. He delights in giving His children wisdom. He doesn't sigh, roll His eyes, or tell us we should already know the answer. Instead, He invites us to ask, and He promises to answer generously.
That means God is willing to show us how to connect with our neighbors, coworkers, family members, and friends in natural, caring, and winsome ways. He knows their stories, their questions, their fears, and what is happening in their hearts. Who better to ask than the One who knows them completely?
If any of the ideas in the FARM conversation prove helpful, praise the Lord. But don't mistake a conversation tool for the source of wisdom. The real source is God Himself. He is waiting for you to ask Him how to apply what you already know about Jesus in a winsome, loving, and timely way.
Before your next conversation, pause and pray, "Lord, give me wisdom. Show me how to love this person well. Help me know what to ask, what to say, and when to simply listen." Then expect Him to answer. He delights in partnering with His people to draw others to His Son.
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