The FARM conversation is a great way to engage people in everyday situations. It works with anyone, anywhere, at any time. FARM stands for Family, Academics, Recreation, and Message. By starting conversations around these topics, you can naturally gauge whether the person you're talking to is a person of peace—open to deeper discussion, interested in spiritual matters, and ready to help others learn more about the Bible. Gently pursue pain points with more questions. Here's a helpful way to guide these conversations:
F = Family
Ask about their family, relationships, and home life to build a personal connection. Questions like "Can you tell me about your family?" or "Are you from around here?" can help start a meaningful dialogue.
A = Academics
If they are a student, inquire about their studies or major by asking, "What are you studying? or "What do you hope to be?" For non-students, switch the A to an O for Occupation. Ask about their job with questions like "What do you do for a living?" to show genuine interest.
R = Recreation
Discuss their hobbies or interests. Questions like "Do you have any hobbies?" or "What do you like to do in your free time?" can reveal shared interests and create a more relaxed conversation.
M = Message
Transitioning into a spiritual conversation flows naturally from engaging and friendly dialogue. Seek guidance from the Holy Spirit (Luke 12:12) and explore pain points with compassion through thoughtful questions. One helpful framework is to consider "Their Story, Your Story, God's Story."
Begin by exploring their story. Express interest in their personal journey by inquiring about their spiritual beliefs or background. For instance, you might ask: "It’s been interesting learning your personal background. I’m curious, what is your spiritual background?" Or, "Do you have a faith journey? If so, can you describe it?" Or "I'm curious, does Jesus play a role in your life? If so, can you share what role?"
Share your story as well. Consider sharing your own spiritual journey with a brief 15-second testimony. For example, you could say: "There was a time when I was ________ and _________. Then I met Jesus, now I'm __________ and ___________." Then ask, "Do you have a story like that?"
Invite them into God's story. Ask, "May I share an encouraging story from the Bible with you?" If they agree, consider sharing a story from the DBS Story Sets. It’s helpful to have one story memorized to share at any moment and to gradually commit more stories to memory, to tailor them to the person’s situation. Ask: "What do you learn about God and people from this story?" Also, "Do you see yourself in any part of this story?" If so, encourage them to explain. Gently explore pain points with compassionate questions.
Be missional. At some point, you will likely be asked about what you do. When this occurs, share your missional identity. For example, you might respond by saying, "I help people discover the joy and hope that flows from trusting Jesus as Lord and Savior." Follow up with questions like: "Have you experienced the joy* and hope* that comes from following Jesus? For believers, add: "I help believers discover how to make disciples, who make disciples. Do you know how to make disciples who make disciples?" Be sure to conclude with an invitation, such as, "Would you like to know more?" Regardless of the answer, the beginning point is the same; teach them DBS. *Note: What two words describe your relationship with Jesus?
F = Family
Ask about their family, relationships, and home life to build a personal connection. Questions like "Can you tell me about your family?" or "Are you from around here?" can help start a meaningful dialogue.
A = Academics
If they are a student, inquire about their studies or major by asking, "What are you studying? or "What do you hope to be?" For non-students, switch the A to an O for Occupation. Ask about their job with questions like "What do you do for a living?" to show genuine interest.
R = Recreation
Discuss their hobbies or interests. Questions like "Do you have any hobbies?" or "What do you like to do in your free time?" can reveal shared interests and create a more relaxed conversation.
M = Message
Transitioning into a spiritual conversation flows naturally from engaging and friendly dialogue. Seek guidance from the Holy Spirit (Luke 12:12) and explore pain points with compassion through thoughtful questions. One helpful framework is to consider "Their Story, Your Story, God's Story."
Begin by exploring their story. Express interest in their personal journey by inquiring about their spiritual beliefs or background. For instance, you might ask: "It’s been interesting learning your personal background. I’m curious, what is your spiritual background?" Or, "Do you have a faith journey? If so, can you describe it?" Or "I'm curious, does Jesus play a role in your life? If so, can you share what role?"
Share your story as well. Consider sharing your own spiritual journey with a brief 15-second testimony. For example, you could say: "There was a time when I was ________ and _________. Then I met Jesus, now I'm __________ and ___________." Then ask, "Do you have a story like that?"
Invite them into God's story. Ask, "May I share an encouraging story from the Bible with you?" If they agree, consider sharing a story from the DBS Story Sets. It’s helpful to have one story memorized to share at any moment and to gradually commit more stories to memory, to tailor them to the person’s situation. Ask: "What do you learn about God and people from this story?" Also, "Do you see yourself in any part of this story?" If so, encourage them to explain. Gently explore pain points with compassionate questions.
Be missional. At some point, you will likely be asked about what you do. When this occurs, share your missional identity. For example, you might respond by saying, "I help people discover the joy and hope that flows from trusting Jesus as Lord and Savior." Follow up with questions like: "Have you experienced the joy* and hope* that comes from following Jesus? For believers, add: "I help believers discover how to make disciples, who make disciples. Do you know how to make disciples who make disciples?" Be sure to conclude with an invitation, such as, "Would you like to know more?" Regardless of the answer, the beginning point is the same; teach them DBS. *Note: What two words describe your relationship with Jesus?
The "B" list
Be Compassionate: Gently pursue pain points by asking questions like, "That sounds really tough, how are you coping with that?" or "Can you tell me more about how that situation has affected you?" As you listen, offer comfort by sharing how your faith has helped you through similar challenges and of God's closeness and readiness to help. Psalm 34:18.
Be strategic. Ask if there are others they know that would be encouraged to hear the story from them. If so, text them the story along with the questions. Follow up in 24 hours to see if they have shared the story. If they have, send another. Once they do this two or three times, meet again to teach them about Discovery Bible Study (DBS)
Be amazed. Conclude the discussion by finding out if they want to learn more—it’s surprising how people respond when given the opportunity. As Rick Warren says, "If the fruit is ripe, you don't have to pull hard." Conversations can vary greatly in duration, from brief encounters that only take minutes to repeated engagements that span months.
Be Spirit-Led: Rely on the Holy Spirit to guide your words and actions during witnessing situations, in alignment with Luke 12:11-12.
Be Loving: Transformation comes through love and truth—in that order. The extent to which we demonstrate love determines how open people will be to receiving truth. As Grant Howard said, "Love takes the initiative, acts sacrificially, to meet needs." This mirrors John 3:16: Love takes the initiative ("God so loved the world"), acts sacrificially ("that He gave His only Son"), and meets needs ("that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life"). Embodying this principle means actively seeking ways to show love to others.
Be Inquisitive: Ask them to elaborate on any spiritual comments they made, saying something like, "You mentioned ______________, can you expand on that?" This helps steer the conversation toward God at any point.
Be Open: Inquire if they have any spiritual questions with a simple, "Do you have any unanswered spiritual questions?" Many people have unresolved questions about God, and as a Christian, you can answer them or explore together by inviting them to study Scripture.
Be Discerning: Check if they are spiritually hungry by asking, "Which of these are you most interested in experiencing: love, joy, hope, peace, power, or purpose?" Let them know these are available through Jesus Christ, citing verses like Psalm 147:3, Romans 4:7, Colossians 1:27, Philippians 4:7, Galatians 5:16, and Ephesians 1:11 (MESSAGE).
Be Insightful: Assess their present level of spiritual interest by asking, "Which word describes you spiritually: Complacent, Curious, Convinced, or Committed?" Be prepared to explain these terms: Complacent (not interested), Curious (wants to know more), Convinced (knows Jesus and wants to grow), and Committed (knows Jesus and wants to help others grow). John 1:46
Be Encouraging: Ask if they sense God drawing them to Himself by saying, "The Bible says God draws people to Himself. Are you interested in discovering more about God?" Refer to John 6:44-45, explaining how God works with everyone He calls.
Be Prepared: Share John 3:16, "For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." This verse highlights three key aspects: God loves you, He sacrificed His Son for you, and He invites you to experience a life filled with love, joy, hope, peace, power, and purpose. Ask, "Would you be interested in learning more?"
Be Direct: Ask if they want to learn how to make disciples who make disciples. State, "I'm looking for people who want to learn how to make disciple makers. Are you that person?" Matthew 11:3
Be Focused: Center on the goal of discovering a person of peace; someone who is ready to be trained in making disciples who make disciples, as stated by Jesus in Mark 1:17.
Be Story-Oriented: Focus the conversation around stories—their story, your story, and God's story. Listen to people's experiences, share common ground, and highlight how God became the hero of your story, aligning with Psalm 107:1-38.
Be Flexible: Tailor the conversation to the specific situation. While the usual flow is to start with FARM topics in order, sometimes it makes sense to begin with a different topic. Acts 8:30, 35
Be Persistent: Continually engage people in spiritual conversations. The more you do, the more effective you become. Use your experience, vocabulary, and temperament to develop a fruitful disciple-making approach. Acts 4:20
Be Complete: Address both the positive aspects of belief—love, joy, and hope in Jesus—and the consequences of rejection—wrath, judgment, and hell, following John 3:36; Luke 10:10-15.
Be Mission-Minded: Recognize that the FARM conversation is suited for unknown relationships, reaching out to those encountered daily who may be willing to engage in spiritual dialogue. Acts 17:17
Be Inquisitive: Ask follow-up questions. Enjoy the dialogue, get to know the person, and have fun in the conversation, focusing on a topic most people are comfortable discussing—their own lives.
Be Available: Offer to answer their spiritual questions if they don't want to answer yours. Point them to Scripture for ultimate answers, recognizing the Holy Spirit as the teacher.
Be a Team Player: Graciously release those who may not want to know more about Jesus, understanding that multiple exposures may be needed before a response.
Be Patient: If there's a chance of encountering them again, continue faithful prayer and acts of love. Recognize that people respond to genuine interest and practical care over time. Some conversations take 6 minutes to complete, some take 6 months.
Be Other-Centered: Be mindful that the conversation is about them, not you. Share common interests and experiences in a way that unites you, but keep the focus primarily on their story and needs.
Be Winsome: Share about the hope, joy, love, peace, power, and purpose that Jesus brings to life. Describe Jesus for who He is and encourage them to start the journey of trusting and serving Him through studying Scripture. Mark 2:1-2
Be strategic. Ask if there are others they know that would be encouraged to hear the story from them. If so, text them the story along with the questions. Follow up in 24 hours to see if they have shared the story. If they have, send another. Once they do this two or three times, meet again to teach them about Discovery Bible Study (DBS)
Be amazed. Conclude the discussion by finding out if they want to learn more—it’s surprising how people respond when given the opportunity. As Rick Warren says, "If the fruit is ripe, you don't have to pull hard." Conversations can vary greatly in duration, from brief encounters that only take minutes to repeated engagements that span months.
Be Spirit-Led: Rely on the Holy Spirit to guide your words and actions during witnessing situations, in alignment with Luke 12:11-12.
Be Loving: Transformation comes through love and truth—in that order. The extent to which we demonstrate love determines how open people will be to receiving truth. As Grant Howard said, "Love takes the initiative, acts sacrificially, to meet needs." This mirrors John 3:16: Love takes the initiative ("God so loved the world"), acts sacrificially ("that He gave His only Son"), and meets needs ("that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life"). Embodying this principle means actively seeking ways to show love to others.
Be Inquisitive: Ask them to elaborate on any spiritual comments they made, saying something like, "You mentioned ______________, can you expand on that?" This helps steer the conversation toward God at any point.
Be Open: Inquire if they have any spiritual questions with a simple, "Do you have any unanswered spiritual questions?" Many people have unresolved questions about God, and as a Christian, you can answer them or explore together by inviting them to study Scripture.
Be Discerning: Check if they are spiritually hungry by asking, "Which of these are you most interested in experiencing: love, joy, hope, peace, power, or purpose?" Let them know these are available through Jesus Christ, citing verses like Psalm 147:3, Romans 4:7, Colossians 1:27, Philippians 4:7, Galatians 5:16, and Ephesians 1:11 (MESSAGE).
Be Insightful: Assess their present level of spiritual interest by asking, "Which word describes you spiritually: Complacent, Curious, Convinced, or Committed?" Be prepared to explain these terms: Complacent (not interested), Curious (wants to know more), Convinced (knows Jesus and wants to grow), and Committed (knows Jesus and wants to help others grow). John 1:46
Be Encouraging: Ask if they sense God drawing them to Himself by saying, "The Bible says God draws people to Himself. Are you interested in discovering more about God?" Refer to John 6:44-45, explaining how God works with everyone He calls.
Be Prepared: Share John 3:16, "For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." This verse highlights three key aspects: God loves you, He sacrificed His Son for you, and He invites you to experience a life filled with love, joy, hope, peace, power, and purpose. Ask, "Would you be interested in learning more?"
Be Direct: Ask if they want to learn how to make disciples who make disciples. State, "I'm looking for people who want to learn how to make disciple makers. Are you that person?" Matthew 11:3
Be Focused: Center on the goal of discovering a person of peace; someone who is ready to be trained in making disciples who make disciples, as stated by Jesus in Mark 1:17.
Be Story-Oriented: Focus the conversation around stories—their story, your story, and God's story. Listen to people's experiences, share common ground, and highlight how God became the hero of your story, aligning with Psalm 107:1-38.
Be Flexible: Tailor the conversation to the specific situation. While the usual flow is to start with FARM topics in order, sometimes it makes sense to begin with a different topic. Acts 8:30, 35
Be Persistent: Continually engage people in spiritual conversations. The more you do, the more effective you become. Use your experience, vocabulary, and temperament to develop a fruitful disciple-making approach. Acts 4:20
Be Complete: Address both the positive aspects of belief—love, joy, and hope in Jesus—and the consequences of rejection—wrath, judgment, and hell, following John 3:36; Luke 10:10-15.
Be Mission-Minded: Recognize that the FARM conversation is suited for unknown relationships, reaching out to those encountered daily who may be willing to engage in spiritual dialogue. Acts 17:17
Be Inquisitive: Ask follow-up questions. Enjoy the dialogue, get to know the person, and have fun in the conversation, focusing on a topic most people are comfortable discussing—their own lives.
Be Available: Offer to answer their spiritual questions if they don't want to answer yours. Point them to Scripture for ultimate answers, recognizing the Holy Spirit as the teacher.
Be a Team Player: Graciously release those who may not want to know more about Jesus, understanding that multiple exposures may be needed before a response.
Be Patient: If there's a chance of encountering them again, continue faithful prayer and acts of love. Recognize that people respond to genuine interest and practical care over time. Some conversations take 6 minutes to complete, some take 6 months.
Be Other-Centered: Be mindful that the conversation is about them, not you. Share common interests and experiences in a way that unites you, but keep the focus primarily on their story and needs.
Be Winsome: Share about the hope, joy, love, peace, power, and purpose that Jesus brings to life. Describe Jesus for who He is and encourage them to start the journey of trusting and serving Him through studying Scripture. Mark 2:1-2
Resources
- Read The Heart Reader
- Read The Heart Reader of Franklin High
- View DMM Resources