The Spiritual Conversation
Also called the FORM or FARM conversation
The Spiritual Conversation is a simple, effective, and enjoyable way to discover a person's openness to conversation, their interest in spiritual matters, and ultimately, their desire to read the Bible.
It is question driven. There is no limit to the number you may ask. Ask follow-up questions. Enjoy the experience. Get to know the person with whom you're conversing. Learn, understand, and discover.
Depending on the situation, the entire conversation may take place in several minutes, or over repeated interactions covering weeks, or even months.
While it is good to share common interests, do so in a limited fashion. Remember, this is about the other person, not you.
The goal is to engage people in conversation, inform them about Jesus, and invite them to read the Bible. The following are suggestions of how to apply these principles. However, feel free to allow the three words, engage, inform, and invite, to generate your own personal presentation.
The Spiritual Conversation has four parts. Together they spell the word FORM.
It is question driven. There is no limit to the number you may ask. Ask follow-up questions. Enjoy the experience. Get to know the person with whom you're conversing. Learn, understand, and discover.
Depending on the situation, the entire conversation may take place in several minutes, or over repeated interactions covering weeks, or even months.
While it is good to share common interests, do so in a limited fashion. Remember, this is about the other person, not you.
The goal is to engage people in conversation, inform them about Jesus, and invite them to read the Bible. The following are suggestions of how to apply these principles. However, feel free to allow the three words, engage, inform, and invite, to generate your own personal presentation.
The Spiritual Conversation has four parts. Together they spell the word FORM.
F = Family
This step involves asking questions having to do with a living situation or children—for example, “Do you have a family?” or “Are you from this area?”
O = Occupation
This step involves asking questions having to do with work—for example, “What do you do for a living?” For students, the O becomes A (which stands for academics), and it becomes the FARM conversation—for example, “What are you studying?” or “What are your academic interests?”
R = Recreation
This step involves asking questions having to do with special interests—for example, “What do you like to do for fun?” or “Do you have any hobbies?”
This step involves asking questions having to do with a living situation or children—for example, “Do you have a family?” or “Are you from this area?”
O = Occupation
This step involves asking questions having to do with work—for example, “What do you do for a living?” For students, the O becomes A (which stands for academics), and it becomes the FARM conversation—for example, “What are you studying?” or “What are your academic interests?”
R = Recreation
This step involves asking questions having to do with special interests—for example, “What do you like to do for fun?” or “Do you have any hobbies?”
M = Message
This is where the conversation becomes spiritual. People are receptive to this transition if the conversation has been friendly, enjoyable, and respectful. Generally speaking, there are three options.
The first option is to move directly to the invitation. For instance, "Would you like to read the Bible together to see what it has so say about what you shared?" Employ this option when information has been shared in course of the conversation that makes this approach natural and easy. In fact, depending upon the nature of the conversation, it may be natural to invite a person to read the Bible before asking the Occupation or Recreation questions. Be sensitive to when it's right to invite.
The second option asks about a person’s spiritual background. For instance, "I have enjoyed learning about your personal background. I'm curious, what is your spiritual background?" Listen for words or phrases that provide a natural way to inform them about the life Jesus offers, and invite them to know more. If you don't hear any, ask follow up questions until you do, or consider moving to the next option.
The third option asks for permission to talk about spiritual matters. For instance, “May I ask you a spiritual question?” If the person agrees, then slowly recite John 3:16 (or a verse of your choosing), include a few summary statements, and issue an invitation (which is the question). See the sample below.
This is where the conversation becomes spiritual. People are receptive to this transition if the conversation has been friendly, enjoyable, and respectful. Generally speaking, there are three options.
The first option is to move directly to the invitation. For instance, "Would you like to read the Bible together to see what it has so say about what you shared?" Employ this option when information has been shared in course of the conversation that makes this approach natural and easy. In fact, depending upon the nature of the conversation, it may be natural to invite a person to read the Bible before asking the Occupation or Recreation questions. Be sensitive to when it's right to invite.
The second option asks about a person’s spiritual background. For instance, "I have enjoyed learning about your personal background. I'm curious, what is your spiritual background?" Listen for words or phrases that provide a natural way to inform them about the life Jesus offers, and invite them to know more. If you don't hear any, ask follow up questions until you do, or consider moving to the next option.
The third option asks for permission to talk about spiritual matters. For instance, “May I ask you a spiritual question?” If the person agrees, then slowly recite John 3:16 (or a verse of your choosing), include a few summary statements, and issue an invitation (which is the question). See the sample below.
The Bible says God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. This means God loves you, He sacrificed His Son for you, and He invites you to a life of love, hope, joy, peace, power, and purpose. Would you like to know more?" |
If the person says yes, immediately show how to do a One Thing Study. Use BibleGateway.com if you don't have a Bible. Teaching the One Thing Study applies to the spiritually curious as well as those who indicate they are followers of Christ. If everything goes well, schedule the next meeting. Consult the Overview as a guide for future meetings.
If the person says no but is still interested in conversing, consider asking a more open-ended question. For example, "Do you have any questions for me?" This seems so simple, but this question can result in great dialogue. Many people have unanswered spiritual questions.
If the person says no, and is not someone you're likely to encounter again, thank them for their time and let them know you appreciated getting to know them. People need several exposures to the gospel before they make a lasting decision. Be content knowing you're part of the process. How well people are released determines how open they are to future gospel conversations.
If the person says no, and is someone you interact with regularly, make prayer and love your ongoing ministry.
If the person says no but is still interested in conversing, consider asking a more open-ended question. For example, "Do you have any questions for me?" This seems so simple, but this question can result in great dialogue. Many people have unanswered spiritual questions.
If the person says no, and is not someone you're likely to encounter again, thank them for their time and let them know you appreciated getting to know them. People need several exposures to the gospel before they make a lasting decision. Be content knowing you're part of the process. How well people are released determines how open they are to future gospel conversations.
If the person says no, and is someone you interact with regularly, make prayer and love your ongoing ministry.
You can do this, you will love this, because you were made for this.