Question #1: What is something you are thankful for since our last meeting?
Asking this question gives the group an easy way to get started, and everyone can come up with something to say, even the introverts.
Notice that we don’t start with prayer. Christian groups start with prayer; those who are far from God don’t. We don’t ask lost people to bow their heads and pray. We don’t explain what prayer is. We don’t have a lecture about this being an important part of group DNA. Instead, we introduce this simple question and allow each member of the group to share.
Often in a group of pre-Christians, once the group is going, it’s likely that someone will begin to connect gratitude to God, as the source of all blessings. This becomes a perfect learning moment. The facilitator can then point out what the group has shared that they are thankful for and that prayer is just telling God the same thing.
The facilitator can just start the group over and say, “Let’s tell God what we’re thankful for.”
Notice that we don’t start with prayer. Christian groups start with prayer; those who are far from God don’t. We don’t ask lost people to bow their heads and pray. We don’t explain what prayer is. We don’t have a lecture about this being an important part of group DNA. Instead, we introduce this simple question and allow each member of the group to share.
Often in a group of pre-Christians, once the group is going, it’s likely that someone will begin to connect gratitude to God, as the source of all blessings. This becomes a perfect learning moment. The facilitator can then point out what the group has shared that they are thankful for and that prayer is just telling God the same thing.
The facilitator can just start the group over and say, “Let’s tell God what we’re thankful for.”
question 2: what has been stressful for you since our last meeting?
This question steers participants toward sharing with and caring for one another on a deeper level. Many people outside the Church may never have experienced small-group dynamics that include opening their hearts, being vulnerable and creating close connections.
Asking a North American this question, however, can lead to a 30-minute answer. This is not a support group, so answers shouldn’t be long and drawn out. This is one time when it may be beneficial for you to answer the question first, providing a model for how it should be done. Remember, because a Discovery Group is made up of people who have a pre-existing relationship, they can talk in more depth outside of the group.
The suggested approach is to ask people (and remind them, if needed) to share in sentences not paragraphs.
If you are leading a group of believers, each person can share in the form of a prayer, or someone can pray over all of the shared concerns to wrap up this question. With a group of non-believers, as they discover prayer in the Scriptures, the facilitator can help the group gradually begin to practice it by saying “In the same way that you shared with each other, now you can share those same things with God. Let’s do that now.”
Occasionally, a group member will have an issue that requires the facilitator to put aside the passage from the Bible. In these moments, it is appropriate to be transparent and take the pressure of getting into the Bible passage off the group. If this happens frequently, though, you probably have a group member whose motivation to be in the group is not to hear from God but again a hearing for his or her problems.
Asking a North American this question, however, can lead to a 30-minute answer. This is not a support group, so answers shouldn’t be long and drawn out. This is one time when it may be beneficial for you to answer the question first, providing a model for how it should be done. Remember, because a Discovery Group is made up of people who have a pre-existing relationship, they can talk in more depth outside of the group.
The suggested approach is to ask people (and remind them, if needed) to share in sentences not paragraphs.
If you are leading a group of believers, each person can share in the form of a prayer, or someone can pray over all of the shared concerns to wrap up this question. With a group of non-believers, as they discover prayer in the Scriptures, the facilitator can help the group gradually begin to practice it by saying “In the same way that you shared with each other, now you can share those same things with God. Let’s do that now.”
Occasionally, a group member will have an issue that requires the facilitator to put aside the passage from the Bible. In these moments, it is appropriate to be transparent and take the pressure of getting into the Bible passage off the group. If this happens frequently, though, you probably have a group member whose motivation to be in the group is not to hear from God but again a hearing for his or her problems.
question 3: how can we respond to what was just shared in our group?
This is one of the hardest pieces of the DNA to get set. The question is meant to begin the discipling process by involving group members in the second half of the Great Commandment: loving others.
In the U.S., need is often identified with money, so the question is skewed in people’s minds toward poverty. It takes time to help people have eyes for others in their immediate context: neighborhood, workplace, school, sports team. Maybe a friend is undergoing chemo and needs meals, housework, or help getting kids to school.
Serving together to change the world around them imprints in group members that a relationship with God is lived out, not just thought about. This, along with the sixth question (“I will...” commitment), are the bookends of the obedience-focused culture in a Discovery Group.
In the U.S., need is often identified with money, so the question is skewed in people’s minds toward poverty. It takes time to help people have eyes for others in their immediate context: neighborhood, workplace, school, sports team. Maybe a friend is undergoing chemo and needs meals, housework, or help getting kids to school.
Serving together to change the world around them imprints in group members that a relationship with God is lived out, not just thought about. This, along with the sixth question (“I will...” commitment), are the bookends of the obedience-focused culture in a Discovery Group.